She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
