TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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