She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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