he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
