so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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