My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Holy shit dude........stairs
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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