How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
