Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
