I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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