they need to just BURY HIM!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize