Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Randomize
