Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
