We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
