I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Two words: blizzard sex
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
