Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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