Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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