real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
