ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
