I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
