So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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