people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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