I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
