I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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