it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I got inside last night via doggy door
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
