You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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