i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
