tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
