I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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