Reggie can tackle my bush.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
