Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How does one acquire holy water?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
