Pregnant stripper...not hot.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
