My nipple is on Facebook.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
