I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
