dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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