I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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