it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize