Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
