Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
