we have pet lesbian snakes
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she pinky promised me she was 18
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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