like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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