I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
