...so i touched it.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
