Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
