Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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