you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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