you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
