Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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