Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
