don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm always down for nudity.
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