i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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