I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
