yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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