I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
