some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Randomize
