absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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