If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
