did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
