the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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