eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
