I swear she didn't look like that last week.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
